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If he declines, look into the situation.

Leaving Early and Returning Late Is he leaving for work much earlier than he needs to and coming home later? Unfaithful partners may leave the house right after their shower, just to have breakfast with someone else. Is this another change in habits that is unexplained? Holiday Absences He finds reasons not to participate in family events, needing to help a friend move or work out at the gym.

Excessive Overtime His job and his paycheck are the same but his workload seems to have doubled.

No woman should say her husband cannot cheat — Segun Okeowo

He now works late into the night and weekends. See how we catch cheating spouses. Get a free consultation. Unexplained Expenditures He earns money but none of it seems to come home. He borrows money from you. One explanation: Affairs are costly.

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There are dinners, gifts and getaways. Secretive Accounts You both used to have an open-door policy concerning shared finances, but now he insists on handling it all. He accuses you of snooping in his wallet or briefcase. Maybe he hides them. Post Office key or see it on his key chain. Sometimes, there is a valid reason for establishing a mailbox address. Frequent movers use them but usually not someone who has lived in the same house for fifteen years. Someone may want a post office box for safety reasons, too.

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But do you both know the location and have access to a key? Women who have hired our private investigation firm to complete surveillance are shocked to learn that their partner has a private, secret box. Extra Grooming Your boyfriend is buying expensive clothes and paying particular attention to his hair.

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Telltale sign: the man who use to lube his car now sports manicured nails. Scent of Another Woman He comes home from a long day of work appearing freshly showered, well-groomed and smelling better than when he left. Unexplained Items He keeps cologne, hair spray or blankets in his car. Ticket stubs, hotel keys, greeting cards, lipstick holders, earrings and condom wrappers find their way into your home without explanation.

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Health Club Membership He has a sudden commitment to improving his physique. He denies that health clubs are good places to meet people. Hang-Ups The number of hang-up telephone calls at your home has jumped. Coded Text Messages You observe an unusually high amount of text messaging.

He keeps his phone close to him; at night. Each state has its own laws regarding alimony, and infidelity is treated differently in each. My experience is only related to North Carolina law and that is the only state in which I am licensed to practice law.

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Therefore, any information presented in this post is strictly limited to my experience as a Board Certified Family Law Specialist in North Carolina as it relates to North Carolina law. Once you suspect that a third person may be involved with your spouse, it is a good idea to consult with an attorney because, for divorce purposes, it does matter when you can prove that an affair took place and that you can carry your burden of proof of an affair in court. The first issue relates to alimony.

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Alimony is spousal support that a supporting spouse can be ordered to pay to a dependent spouse. In short and in non-legal jargon , a supporting spouse makes more money than a dependent spouse and the dependent spouse cannot generally afford to maintain his or her standard of living without assistance from the supporting spouse. If a supporting spouse has an affair and a dependent spouse did not, North Carolina law provides for alimony to be paid to the dependent spouse and the affair can be used by the court to increase both the amount and duration of an award of alimony. The key, though, is that you must prove that the affair occurred prior to separation.

The consequences of infidelity, therefore, can be quite consequential from a financial perspective for both spouses. If you are the spouse that could claim alimony, though, you would want to be sure that you can collect all of the evidence that your attorney will need in order to successfully present your case. Yell into a pillow, bite your tongue and fight your instinct to confront him or her.

Prematurely confronting your spouse will only prompt them to stop doing what they have been doing, to cover their tracks and to potentially destroy evidence. Since you have to prove that an affair occurred prior to separation, you should try and obtain as much evidence as possible before separation. To do so, you should speak with an experienced attorney to receive guidance on what you will need and how to legally obtain evidence that will assist you in proving what has happened.

Your attorney will advise you when to let it be known that you have caught your spouse, but jumping the gun will usually not help your case. Another area where infidelity matters in North Carolina relates to the actions of Criminal Conversation and of Alienation of Affection. Examples of circumstantial evidence showing opportunity include hotel or travel records, like booking confirmations and credit card receipts.

Indirect proof of inclination could be public displays of affection, love letters, email messages, and text messages showing a romantic involvement. If your spouse is having an affair, you should consider consulting with a divorce attorney before you do anything about it. Your lawyer can advise you on filing a divorce petition , whether or not you should base your divorce on adultery, and how to go about getting the evidence you need to prove your case.

Get Started Lawyers. By Lina Guillen , Attorney. Filing for divorce based on adultery may not be worth the added time and expense. Should You Choose a Fault Divorce? Direct Proof Most people don't have direct proof of adultery, such as an eyewitness account. Indirect Proof Your next option is to use indirect proof or circumstantial evidence of adultery to show: your spouse had the chance to commit adultery, such as being alone with the other person, and your spouse had the inclination to commit adultery, meaning given the situation, sexual intercourse was likely to take place.

Questions for Your Attorney Will adultery affect the alimony and property division awards in my case? Once I file for divorce, can I change my mind about the grounds for divorce? My spouse has been sending someone explicit texts and nude photos.

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